Author: Betty Sutliff, Caregiver

The following Article is from the July/August 2006 issue of Stroke Connection Magazine, an affiliate of the American Stroke Association:

My husband Earl is a three-year stroke survivor

He spent a month at the veteran’s hospital in Iowa City, Iowa, and was then transferred to the veteran’s rehabilitation center in Knoxville, Iowa, where he received remarkable care and physical therapy. His five months there had a profound affect on our lives.

When a close family member has a stroke, the entire family also suffers stroke, especially if the spouse or the child becomes a caregiver. It changes life forever and sometimes, depending on the severity, that change is radical. In our case, it was a radical change because Earl had a complete right front lobectomy.

Our personal relationship with each other has been altered. Every other relationship is changed as well. Not one thing is the same. Now he lives his life from a wheelchair.

He is unable to roll over or stand or sit up on his own. Speaking is limited, as is writing. Incontinence is a constant frustration, and if not handled carefully, it becomes a dignity issue, adding to the depression that accompanies stroke. Fatigue is something he lives with daily.

Some people in this circumstance have the resources that allow them to hire help, travel, join a health club for therapy and attend social events. But I would guess most stroke families are like us, living on a limited income. What savings we had are gone, and we live on Social Security. I do receive some extra because I am my husband’s primary caregiver, but our budget does not allow for extras, even something as important as health insurance for me.

Our family has been very supportive, and at the time Earl was hospitalized, they sacrificed time with their families to be with us. But life is demanding, and children and jobs need them. We are at the point now where we try to depend on family less and less and rely more on friends for mental and social support, as well as several agencies for respite time.

My advice to anyone living this new and trying life is this: Don’t be proud, let people help you. They get pleasure feeling that they are being useful. Often people offer to help, but we don’t take them up on that offer. We just need to forget our pride and accept their help.

Another thing, do not neglect your spirit. If attending church is out of the question, as it is for us, find a channel on TV or a station on the radio and attend church that way. Our church has a program where volunteers deliver a tape of the service to us each week.

To get a copy of the complete article in this informative issue of Stroke Connection Magazine or sign up to get a free subscription, please, Click Here.