Author: David Douglas Allard

Tools of the Thoughts

Quit is a word that never entered my mind when I had to start a new beginning. I was without words to match my feelings; words were a mystery to me. It was a very different feeling, as it was difficult to let the words out. It was important to let people know that I could say the things inside of me. I just couldn’t get the words out of my mouth to the rest of the world. It was like hibernation. But I did not give up. I was 24 years old when my speaking skills were damaged from the stroke. It was like an invisible wall was keeping me from being able to communicate. I had to find a way to unlock these magical words from behind that wall. I am picking up the pieces and climbing over this invisible wall.

Speaking and understanding language was strenuous. At that time, when somebody interrupted me, it was like some kind of terrible madness had crossed my pathway, and made the thoughts and ideas and words spin in circles. I was exhausted and useless. Yet I did not give up!

I was living in a world in which my wounded mind and words were not clear. It’s painful not to have that gift and, of course, I shed tears knowing that I could not imagine getting better. When my friends came over to see me and they saw me with tubes attached to my body they smiled. I smiled back. They reminded me that they still held a place for me in their heart and souls. They started to talk. I listened but I could not follow them. I had to say something but no matter how I tried the words just would not come, so I curled back and listened quietly.
That is how I came to understand my own life better. In the end, I have come out a survivor. I can relearn conversation skills that touch every person who is listens to me. You can do it. I did it!

David Douglas Allard
P.O. Box 417
Keswick, Va 22947